Shut the Fuck Up

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So I was on twitter the other day, yeah, I was on twitter. So sue me. And a published author is ragging on self-pubbed authors that can’t afford to get professional editing before self-pubbing. The thought was that the self-pubbed author shouldn’t publish if she can’t afford an editor. To which I say, Shut the Fuck Up. You bigoted bigotty bitch.

See, not everyone has an agent. And not everyone has a publisher. And not everyone has money. But those very same people have good story ideas. Which do I want more? A good story with some shitty editing or a shitty story pumped out by flashy editors and publishers? Take a wild guess. Good stories win every goddamn time. Can’t tell you how many books suck big fat donkey dicks coming out of the Big 5 publishing houses all polished up and pretty. No amount of spit shine can put a good spin on a shitty story. A old boring-assed safe story.

Don’t think that I think all stories coming from the Big 5 are shitty. They are not. But neither are all stories coming from self-pubbed authors all shitty. They don’t have the money or the connections to get their first stories edited. Maybe if they make something on their self-pubbed work, they’ll be able to afford an editor. My fingers are crossed. Cause some of the worst edited works I have read in the last year come from self-pubbed authors with good stories and shitty connections. And some of the shittiest stories I have read in the last year come from well-connected highly edited authors with money.

But the elitest asshole, who said the shitty edited self-pubbed authors should take their stories and go home, needs to sit down and shut the fuck up. We don’t tell bands not to cut shitty demo records cause they can’t afford better equipment or a decent recording studio. We make allowances for them. We don’t tell artists they should work in expensive mediums cause otherwise their art isn’t good enough. We make allowances for them. Why is it so hard to understand that a writer, just starting out, self-pubbing their work, might not be able to afford all the bells and whistles that a more connected writer can? Where is the allowance for them?

So that’s my rant. It’s hard enough to put yourself and your work out there for public consumption. But when we get assholes who talk about you to your face or behind your back, well, something is not right in Whoville, yeah? And it makes it hard for an insecure artist, musician, writer to want to put themselves out there. Our world is poorer place for it. Way poorer.

Music Monday 5/13/13

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Gonna rock out this week. I’m writing about drivers, rock stars and kick ass women. Need some tunes that get me in that groove. A little Incubus, Linkin Park and Foo Fighters should fit the bill. These are some of my favs. Incubus and the Foo Fighters each get one song. Linkin Park gets two. One is by themselves. One is with some rappers. I love when genres mix it up. I could add a whole bunch from Linkin Park but gotta keep the post from getting too big. lol

Enjoy.

Frittata

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I try to make a Frittata at least once on the weekend. Usually on Sunday. Some people follow exacting recipes to combine flavors. Me, I just use left over veggies from the week.

Frittata

1 onion, diced
3 slices bacon also diced, or ham or some other fatty pork or breakfast meat that’s yummy
9-12 eggs
1/2 c parmesan cheese
1/2 c cream, milk or half and half
left over veggies- asparagus, spinach, bell peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, whatever you have in the fridge or cupboard
handful of parsley minced
salt/pepper

1. Preheat oven to 350. Fry up onion and bacon together in oven proof skillet. I use cast iron.

2. While onion and bacon are frying, mix together eggs, cream, parmesan and parsley in large bowl. Add some salt and pepper. I normally add 1/2 tsp of both.

3. Add veggies and cook until all have been brought up to temperature.

4. Pour egg/cream mixture over veggies in skillet. Cook until bottom is set. About 2-5 minutes.

5. Transfer to oven. Cook until top is golden brown. It will balloon up. Wait for it.

6. Cut into wedges and serve. Alone for breakfast or with a salad for lunch or dinner.

May Blog Chain

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Doing AW‘s Blog chain again this month. Loads of fun.

This month’s prompt:
Dialogue Only

Make a post that is only back-and-forth dialogue, with no description or tags. As always, it may be fiction or nonfiction, prose or poetry, or any other form you care to use. If you want an additional prompt for your dialogue, you can use Wrong Place, Right Time,” but this is strictly optional.

Instructions:
Simply post your blog’s URL in this thread to join. Each post should be less than 1000 words if possible. Read and comment on other participants’ posts if you possibly can–they’ll be doing the same for you!

Dialogue Only

“Oh my god. That feel so good.”

“Does it?”

“Yes. Yes it does. I didn’t think that I would like it so much.”

“Don’t think I’m not laughing at you. I told you would like it, if you just gave it a chance.”

“You were so right.”

“Can I mark today down in my calendar as the day hell froze over?”

“You are so not funny even if you were right. No need to be smug about it, you know.”

“I’m not being smug about it. I’m just being right. For once.”

“Laughing at me isn’t helping get you out of hot water, mister.”

“No. But it is making me feel better all the way around.”

“Oh god. That’s it. That’s the spot.”

“Right there?”

“Yes. Now a little to the left. Yeeeessss, perfect. Just right there.”

“Oh, I can feel it. It feels really tight.”

“Totally. But if you keep rubbing it, maybe that’ll change.”

“I like all those little moans you make. And every once in a while you squeak like those dog toys they have at the supermarket.”

“Are you saying that you like girls who squeak?”

“No. I’m saying that I like it when you squeak.”

“Oh. Well that’s okay then.”

“I should hope so.”

“No need to be dickish is there?”

“Other than I want to be dickish? Probably not.”

“Jeez, you can be really frustrating.”

“You think I’m the one who’s frustrating? Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. Didn’t I just say that?”

“Well, yeah. But I don’t see how you can think that. I mean, of the two of us, you are the more frustrating.”

“Says who? Did you take a poll at the local supermarket? You know, when you checked out the doggie squeak toys?”

“Um no. I just know. It’s my superior intellect brought on by me having a dick.”

“Oh using you and dick in a sentence is something I can so get behind.”

“Are you sure you want to taunt me when I have you in such a vulnerable position?”

“Oh yeah. Maybe I need to rethink my strategy on that.”

“Oh now, we’re going to be nice.”

“Well yeah. You just pointed out my precarious situation. I’m not a stupid girl. I know when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em and definitely when to shut up.”

“Perhaps you can decide to shut up now so I can finish?”

“I could. But where is the fun in that?”

“Are you trying to make me miss my stride?”

“You have a stride going on? How’d I miss that?”

“Obviously when you wouldn’t shut up and let me get on with it.”

“Okay man with the magic hands. Do your worst. Better yet, do your best. Get on with it.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder.”

“I’m going to need headphones if you keep this up.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t concentrate.”

“You need to concentrate to finish this?”

“Only if you want me at my best.”

“I always want you. At your best. At your worst. All the time.”

“Now you decide to be sweet?”

“I’m always sweet.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. And if you do a really really good job, I’ll show you just how sweet I can be.”

“Well, that’s some incentive.”

“True.”

“Almost done. It’s not suppose to hurt. Well, not too much anyway. Let me know if I hurt you, okay?”

“I will… oh sweet baby jesus, that is fabulous.”

“If your moaning is anything to go by, yes it is.”

“You keep doing that and I’ll keep on moaning.”

“Moaning is good.”

“I thought you liked the squeaking better?”

“Squeaking is cute. Moaning is like a 5 star review.”

“Gotcha.”

“Yes you do. And I’ve got you. My hands seem to really like you.”

“Well that’s good cause my body seems to really like your hands. It’s like a mutual admiration society.”

“I admire your society.”

“Not as much as I admire yours.”

“Almost finished.”

“Really?”

“I’m not ready for you to be done.”

“I don’t have anything else left. You’ve sapped my strength with all your tightness.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“Is it my turn?”

“To do me?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, in that case. Yes it is.”

“Okay. Turn over and I’ll get some oil.”

“Don’t use too much. We don’t want a huge wet spot on the sheets.”

“I got this. This isn’t my first rodeo, you know.”

“Okay. I’m ready.”

“T minus 2. I’m almost ready as well.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Now it’s my turn to make you moan.”

“I like this taking turns business.”

“I just bet you do.”

“We should do this more often.”

“Next time, let’s try a simultaneous mutual massage session.”

“I’m game.”

“Awesome. Now shut up and let me get down to business.”

“Alright. Shutting up now.”

“Not really shutting up if you’re still talking.”

“Oh my god. That feel so good.”

Here are some of the other participants blog links. Check them out if you have the time or inclination.

Participants and posts:
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
articshark – http://www.drslaten.com/blog (link to post) <——————- you are here
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Sudo_One – http://sudoone.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Nissie – http://www.rinchupeco.com/ (link to post)
Angyl78 – http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Lady Cat – http://randomwriterlythoughts.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
U2Girl – http://ancatdubh.org/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes – http://www.taraquan.com/ (link to post)
SuzanneSeese – http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
LanaK – http://lanaketrick.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
in_one – http://quirkythomas.blogspot.com/ (link to post)

Random Thoughts Part 4

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Friday rolls around and my brain is fried, fried, fried. So once again, I am falling back on short random thoughts.

I really have serious questions about products in our society. I live in a new house. All the stuff in it is new. My air conditioner is new or was when I bought the house. I found out this week that it needs to be repaired. Already. Seriously? At only two years old, my air conditioning unit needs a $2000 repair? WTF? Does nothing last? Is nothing made to be durable? At some point the word durable will vanish from the English language much like durable goods. Everything is just disposable. But for some reason, I thought air conditioning units should last longer than two years. I don’t know why. I just did. And guess what else, the warranty is out as well. So the entire cost is mine. How’s that for a reality check? Look, I just think that some things should be built to last. You know, pride in the crap we make and all that. But apparently I am alone in this belief. Air conditioning makers have gone the way of light bulb manufacturers. And the instructions should read change after 60,000 hours of use.

Did you know Twitter can be addictive? It can also be annoying. See, it is addictive because I like having real time knowledge of the tidbits going on in the lives of people I know. It is annoying because so many people and companies use it as an advertising platform. Now, I don’t mind a shout out once in a while about some shit you want people to know about. But the constant bombardment of adverts is really frickin’ annoying. Stop it. I go and look at some of these constant advert peeps and they have a bazillion followers. I don’t know why. See I am going to their page to unfollow them because they have gotten on my last nerve. I am befuddled as to why more people don’t unfollow. Then maybe they would get the message. Stop the insanity. lol

So I found out what happened to my neighbor. A dude in a car that was a eduction coordinator for a local church got a case of road rage, followed him to the Best Buy parking lot and beat him up. Unbeknownst to my neighbor,  dude caused a concussion or some other head injury, a severe one and my neighbor died later that week after being in the hospital going in and out of consciousness. He slipped into a coma and died. He was 62. My neighbor was a really great guy. Funny, nice, neighborly. Now he’s dead cause some dude got pissed at a driving maneuver. Seriously? If I got mad at everyone that drove like an idiot, I would be pissed all day long. All day long. Here’s a tip for you, if you’re pissed at a driving stunt, go take a class on anger management or do what I do. Make up stories about why so and so is driving like an idiot. Here is an example. I saw a youngish woman driving like she was a bat out of hell. Cut me off crossing back into my lane after weaving in and out of traffic. So I told myself that she had smelly green crap oozing out of her crotch and needed to get to the gynecologist STAT. It made me smile, be more understanding and less angry. I didn’t follow her to a parking lot, beat the shit out of her and end up killing her. See, church dude is going to jail. Probably for manslaughter, perhaps for felony assault. Now two families will be without their dad. Only one of them will never come back. And when the other does, he will be branded a murderer. Sadness for both families all the way around. Smelly green oozing stuff would have been so much better. Local story in paper.

That is all.

30 Posts in 30 days

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I set a goal for myself at the beginning of April. I wanted to write a blog post a day. April is one of those months that only has 30 days. I thought no problem. I can write 30 blog posts. I write thousands of words day. How hard can it be to write a few hundred for a blog post.

I mean, I’m interesting. I have interesting things to say. I can come up with 30 interesting topics. Holy Crapola Batman. Writing 30 blog posts in 30 days is hard. Seriously hard. Like I ran out of things to say within a few days and had to rack my brain for topics kinda hard. I wasn’t that interesting. I didn’t have as many interesting things to say. In fact, I found that I was down right boring. Really, watch the paint dry, boring.

Once that reality check was in place, I came up with recurring topics and themes. This helped but did not alleviate any of my boring qualities. Not at all.

I am happy to report that I met my goal. But this could be the hallmark of a boring person. Reliable but boring. I did what I set out to do. This trait could just mean that I am pig-headed. I mean it could mean that I have follow through but it could also mean that I am just too damn stubborn not to finish what I started. So I guess finishing out the month of April by actually doing what I set out to do could mean lots of good things for me and my personality. But… but… but it could also mean a whole passel of bad things as well. It probably boils down to whether you are a glass half empty or a glass half full kinda person.

What I know is I am is a person who is tired of writing a blog post a day. I can’t keep up the pace. My hat goes off to those that can. More power to you. I just can’t join you. My short foray into that world was wrought with pain and the musings of a boring mind. Not a good thing to learn about myself. 😉 So today is the first day of May. And I can safely say I will not be trying to write a post everyday. Never again. Nope, Nuh-huh, Not doing it.

Like I said, I learned a lot this past month. Including my lesson. lol

Spicy Cold Soba Noodle Salad

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I’m Asian. Well, part Asian. I love buckwheat noodles, aka soba noodles. Do yourself a favor and spend the extra money to buy 100% buckwheat soba. The taste is distinctive. The difference is vast. Modern wheat, in my opinion, is evil. Traditional old fashioned wheat had chromosomes in the low teens, like 14 or so. Today, our wheat has been genetically modified to have around 41 or so chromosomes. Do the research and think about putting that in your body. Just don’t. Buckwheat plants have pretty much been left alone in the modification department. So the stuff you get today is how the plant naturally developed. Okay, off the soap box.

You can find 100% buckwheat soba noodles in Asian markets.

Spicy Cold Soba Noodle Salad

1/2- 1  pound soba or Japanese buckwheat noodles

The Sauce:
1/3 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon molasses
3 tablespoons sesame oil
3 tablespoons chili oil
3 tablespoons seasoned rice wine vinegar

The Veggies:
1/2 bunch scallions, white and green parts, thinly sliced
1 c match stick cut yellow bell peppers
1 c thinly sliced baby carrots
1 c deseeded and thinly sliced cucumber
1 c thinly sliced celery
1/2 c whole cilantro leaves (no stems)- optional
1 c lightly sauteed shitake mushrooms- optional
1 c shredded roasted chicken- optional

The Directions:
Place soy sauce in a saucepan over medium heat, add brown sugar and bring to a boil. Turn heat to low, stir in molasses, and return to simmer. Transfer to a mixing bowl. Add sesame oil, chili oil, and vinegar, and whisk to combine.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a rapid boil. Add noodles, bring back to a boil, and cook, stirring occasionally, until they just begin to soften, about 3 minutes. (Soba noodles can overcook very quickly, so stay nearby.) *I like some of my veggies slightly cooked. So I add carrots to the water as well. And maybe the bell peppers, depending on my mood. Or if I am adding shitake mushrooms, I will saute everything I want cooked in half olive oil, half chili oil. *

Have ready a large bowl of iced water. Drain noodles, plunge in iced water, and drain again. Place in a colander and rinse well under cold running water. Combine noodles, veggies and sauce, toss well with scallions and any optional ingredients, and chill.

Music Monday 4/29/13

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April showers bring May flowers. And since I can’t get the weather to cooperate, I can, at least, get the music to cooperate. Here are some songs of summer. Again, in a variety of genres. Don’t be put off because one isn’t the kind you would listen to normally. They will all make you smile. The first three have Summer in the title. The last one doesn’t. I just added it because I like it. It’s Queen Latifah from when she released her Dana Owens album. Dana Owens is her name and she can sing. The song is California Dreamin’ and it still makes me think of summer. And as an aside, I would have added Jimmy Buffett to the to the list but then I would have had to add all his songs, or most of them. 😉

Smutty Sunday 4/28/13

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Hey, looky here… it’s Sunday. Smutty Sunday to be exact. It’s that time again. So, here’s my weekly reading recommendations.

The sci/fi recommendation for this week is an oldie but goodie. This series helped one of my friends get into science fiction and fantasy as a genre. Made her excited to read that “weird” stuff. One of my other friends, a guy, scoffed at this series and the Eddings  series I started her on. He wanted her to jump right into Piers Anthony or something. You know, “real” science fiction. I told him that she would get hooked on this and then he could move her into the other stuff. You can’t just start someone on serious sci-fi. So I guess Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince Trilogy and it’s follow up series Dragon Star series is like one of the gateway drugs. Cause we did get her hooked and she did move to more serious sci fi and fantasy. But still, this series will always have a special place in my heart.

Cynthia Eden’s Fallen series ROCKS! I love her books. All of them. Usually when I read an author, there is a book or two that I just can’t stand or don’t think is as good as the others. Not so with Ms. Eden’s books. And her latest series in her ‘verse, the Fallen, about fallen angels is all kinds of deliciousness. Seriously. Hot angel dudes, crazy supernaturals, fabulous sex and action that just doesn’t quit. A girl really doesn’t need much more, yeah? I can’t wait for the next in this series to be released this summer. Can’t. Wait.

Kate Pearce House of Pleasure series with Simple titles are historically hot. I started reading these books a while ago. They just kept getting better and better and hotter and hotter. When  I read historicals, I am not really used to fabulous sex in them. Not many writers go there. Sure, some of them put in a little more than mainstream sex scenes but really Georgian and Regency period books are lean on the smex. Not these. They are HEAVY on the smex. And not just the mainstream kind, but the kinky, dirty, naughty kinds. Now can you see why I like them? But it’s not just that. In addition to fab sex, they have a story. A good story. They are yum!

Freakonomics by Levitt and Dubner is my weekly non fiction rec. If you want to know little bits of everything and not a whole of of something, this book will help you. It explains the economics behind all sorts of random facts. Like why drug dealers still live with their moms. They talk about the hidden cost/benefits behind crazy random things. This book is funny, interesting and it will get you to think. Not a bad thing for any book. But for a nonfiction book that talks about economics, you know a topic that makes most people’s eyes glaze over, well that borders on miraculous, yeah?

Muse is Riding Me Hard

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Today is going to be a really short post.

My muse is riding me hard. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I don’t want to go to yoga. My story wants out like yesterday. It is times like this I really wish I had taken typing in high school. I am a modified two finger pecker. Not efficient at all. My story is mostly writing itself. But because I type so slow, I am not keeping up. Which makes my muse impatient. Making me want to ignore everything else but the story.

And it wouldn’t be so bad but right at this moment, I have two full novels running side by side in my head. Seriously running. Fast. Like crazy fast. Trying to beat each other out. To see which one I will write first. The only thing those two have in common is that they are both contemporary. After that, they diverge in many, many ways. So not only are they competing to see which one gets written, they are discordant as they compete.

I think I might be going slowly insane. Evidence of this is that I am talking about muses and writings as if they are real people or something. lol All brought on my lack of sleep along with crazy voices talking in my head. At least I am not answering them yet. Well, other than to tell them to shut up. But do they listen? No. Are they trying to help a bitch out? No. They want their story written and they want it done… YESTERDAY.

I am only human. I type like crap. I am trying. Soon. So very soon, I will have these stories finished. But I know my trials and tribulations won’t be over. There are other character voices that aren’t as loud yet but once I am done with my current WIPs, I know they will start yelling too. No rest for the weary, yeah? 😉