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Random Thoughts Part 5

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Haven’t had any random thoughts for a while. Been too busy. But I had some today.

Why do cable people make you wait all day for them to show up? Why can’t they just tell you it will be at such and such time? Or about such and such time so you can get other shit done? I think it is a power play. I know some people will say it is because they don’t know when one job is finished and they can’t get to the next job until the one before it is done. But seriously? I just don’t get… they will be there sometime tomorrow. Really? If I didn’t need my router so badly, I would be all like… maybe I will be home sometime  tomorrow. Arghhhh!

Every time we have a tragedy, everyone puts that they’re praying for the victims of the tragedy. Seriously? Did you not get the joke about the lottery ticket and the woman with kids who are starving and about to be kicked out their house? She just kept praying. Finally god told her she needed to help him help her and get off her ass and buy a lottery ticket or something so he’d have something to work with. Same goes here. Jaysus. Praying is all good and well for the non victims. But you know what they need more than prayer? Donations. Of money, of supplies, etc. Praying make the non victim PRAYOR feel good but doesn’t do bumpkiss for the victims. So donate and then pray. Or pray and then donate. Or just donate. Make the donation your prayer. Sheesh. Do I have to spell it out already?

I don’t understand the whole fanfic thing. Why write something not original? Why not read something original? Is it because you are jonesing before the next book the series is out? Or the series is over and you didn’t get enough? Seriously, don’t get it. Daydream about your favs like the rest of us. Don’t be all ripping it off. And if you do, don’t be looking to make a buck off it. The idea isn’t yours. Do all that hard work, turn over all the $$ to the original creator/author/licensee or come up with your own original idea. It’s as simple as that. If that were the rule, we wouldn’t be having Amazon Worlds and the like. I am just blown away. We obviously need one of Bill Maher’s new rules here.

Cool Places on the Interwebz

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When I first wake up on a Saturday morning, I have the house to myself. It is bliss. Quiet, peaceful and devoid of distractions. It’s almost like a scene out of a movie. You know, where the film makers pan to the breaking dawn, glorious waves or something else that symbolizes how wonderful a quiet, beautiful day can start.

Then, the rest of my household awakens and chaos reigns for the rest of the day. Taking my zen with it.

So, instead of trying to get words on a page, I cruise the internet. I have some go to sites.

Steep and Cheap and Woot are the first places I look. Hey, I like to shop and I like bargains. What can I say?

Then I check out writer websites. First up is the Grinder to check dates on the manuscripts I’ve submitted. Savvy Author is next to see if there are any interesting announcements, upcoming pitch contests and seminars that sound good. I keep a window to Absolute Write Water Cooler open pretty much all day. It’s an awesome community of peeps who write, edit and publish.

I also have other areas of the internet that interest me. Like Mark’s Daily Apple. It’s a primal living site and Mark talks about all things primal. From clothes to food to exercises. It’s cool and informative. Another gem, a jewel really, is Dr. Davis’s website and blog called Track your Plaque. If you or someone you love is serious about heart health, or needs more information on how to reverse, or at least stop the progression of heart disease, Dr. Davis’s blog is a must see. MUST. SEE.

At some in the future, I will list more blogs, sites and interesting places to visit on the interwebz. But for now, this is it. Enjoy.

Shut the Fuck Up

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So I was on twitter the other day, yeah, I was on twitter. So sue me. And a published author is ragging on self-pubbed authors that can’t afford to get professional editing before self-pubbing. The thought was that the self-pubbed author shouldn’t publish if she can’t afford an editor. To which I say, Shut the Fuck Up. You bigoted bigotty bitch.

See, not everyone has an agent. And not everyone has a publisher. And not everyone has money. But those very same people have good story ideas. Which do I want more? A good story with some shitty editing or a shitty story pumped out by flashy editors and publishers? Take a wild guess. Good stories win every goddamn time. Can’t tell you how many books suck big fat donkey dicks coming out of the Big 5 publishing houses all polished up and pretty. No amount of spit shine can put a good spin on a shitty story. A old boring-assed safe story.

Don’t think that I think all stories coming from the Big 5 are shitty. They are not. But neither are all stories coming from self-pubbed authors all shitty. They don’t have the money or the connections to get their first stories edited. Maybe if they make something on their self-pubbed work, they’ll be able to afford an editor. My fingers are crossed. Cause some of the worst edited works I have read in the last year come from self-pubbed authors with good stories and shitty connections. And some of the shittiest stories I have read in the last year come from well-connected highly edited authors with money.

But the elitest asshole, who said the shitty edited self-pubbed authors should take their stories and go home, needs to sit down and shut the fuck up. We don’t tell bands not to cut shitty demo records cause they can’t afford better equipment or a decent recording studio. We make allowances for them. We don’t tell artists they should work in expensive mediums cause otherwise their art isn’t good enough. We make allowances for them. Why is it so hard to understand that a writer, just starting out, self-pubbing their work, might not be able to afford all the bells and whistles that a more connected writer can? Where is the allowance for them?

So that’s my rant. It’s hard enough to put yourself and your work out there for public consumption. But when we get assholes who talk about you to your face or behind your back, well, something is not right in Whoville, yeah? And it makes it hard for an insecure artist, musician, writer to want to put themselves out there. Our world is poorer place for it. Way poorer.

Random Thoughts Part 4

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Friday rolls around and my brain is fried, fried, fried. So once again, I am falling back on short random thoughts.

I really have serious questions about products in our society. I live in a new house. All the stuff in it is new. My air conditioner is new or was when I bought the house. I found out this week that it needs to be repaired. Already. Seriously? At only two years old, my air conditioning unit needs a $2000 repair? WTF? Does nothing last? Is nothing made to be durable? At some point the word durable will vanish from the English language much like durable goods. Everything is just disposable. But for some reason, I thought air conditioning units should last longer than two years. I don’t know why. I just did. And guess what else, the warranty is out as well. So the entire cost is mine. How’s that for a reality check? Look, I just think that some things should be built to last. You know, pride in the crap we make and all that. But apparently I am alone in this belief. Air conditioning makers have gone the way of light bulb manufacturers. And the instructions should read change after 60,000 hours of use.

Did you know Twitter can be addictive? It can also be annoying. See, it is addictive because I like having real time knowledge of the tidbits going on in the lives of people I know. It is annoying because so many people and companies use it as an advertising platform. Now, I don’t mind a shout out once in a while about some shit you want people to know about. But the constant bombardment of adverts is really frickin’ annoying. Stop it. I go and look at some of these constant advert peeps and they have a bazillion followers. I don’t know why. See I am going to their page to unfollow them because they have gotten on my last nerve. I am befuddled as to why more people don’t unfollow. Then maybe they would get the message. Stop the insanity. lol

So I found out what happened to my neighbor. A dude in a car that was a eduction coordinator for a local church got a case of road rage, followed him to the Best Buy parking lot and beat him up. Unbeknownst to my neighbor,  dude caused a concussion or some other head injury, a severe one and my neighbor died later that week after being in the hospital going in and out of consciousness. He slipped into a coma and died. He was 62. My neighbor was a really great guy. Funny, nice, neighborly. Now he’s dead cause some dude got pissed at a driving maneuver. Seriously? If I got mad at everyone that drove like an idiot, I would be pissed all day long. All day long. Here’s a tip for you, if you’re pissed at a driving stunt, go take a class on anger management or do what I do. Make up stories about why so and so is driving like an idiot. Here is an example. I saw a youngish woman driving like she was a bat out of hell. Cut me off crossing back into my lane after weaving in and out of traffic. So I told myself that she had smelly green crap oozing out of her crotch and needed to get to the gynecologist STAT. It made me smile, be more understanding and less angry. I didn’t follow her to a parking lot, beat the shit out of her and end up killing her. See, church dude is going to jail. Probably for manslaughter, perhaps for felony assault. Now two families will be without their dad. Only one of them will never come back. And when the other does, he will be branded a murderer. Sadness for both families all the way around. Smelly green oozing stuff would have been so much better. Local story in paper.

That is all.

30 Posts in 30 days

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I set a goal for myself at the beginning of April. I wanted to write a blog post a day. April is one of those months that only has 30 days. I thought no problem. I can write 30 blog posts. I write thousands of words day. How hard can it be to write a few hundred for a blog post.

I mean, I’m interesting. I have interesting things to say. I can come up with 30 interesting topics. Holy Crapola Batman. Writing 30 blog posts in 30 days is hard. Seriously hard. Like I ran out of things to say within a few days and had to rack my brain for topics kinda hard. I wasn’t that interesting. I didn’t have as many interesting things to say. In fact, I found that I was down right boring. Really, watch the paint dry, boring.

Once that reality check was in place, I came up with recurring topics and themes. This helped but did not alleviate any of my boring qualities. Not at all.

I am happy to report that I met my goal. But this could be the hallmark of a boring person. Reliable but boring. I did what I set out to do. This trait could just mean that I am pig-headed. I mean it could mean that I have follow through but it could also mean that I am just too damn stubborn not to finish what I started. So I guess finishing out the month of April by actually doing what I set out to do could mean lots of good things for me and my personality. But… but… but it could also mean a whole passel of bad things as well. It probably boils down to whether you are a glass half empty or a glass half full kinda person.

What I know is I am is a person who is tired of writing a blog post a day. I can’t keep up the pace. My hat goes off to those that can. More power to you. I just can’t join you. My short foray into that world was wrought with pain and the musings of a boring mind. Not a good thing to learn about myself. 😉 So today is the first day of May. And I can safely say I will not be trying to write a post everyday. Never again. Nope, Nuh-huh, Not doing it.

Like I said, I learned a lot this past month. Including my lesson. lol

Randoms Thoughts Part 3

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Hey look. Friday has rolled around. Once again, my brain is fried. And thus we have random thoughts.

I hate having a house telephone. The only people who call us on it are telemarketers and school officials. The only reason we have it is so that school officials can call us on it. However, everyone who matters calls us on our individual cell phones. I am giving serious thought to just getting rid of the house phone. Although it is cheap, I have a bundle, it is really worthless. The other reason is that it is a local number. My cell phone is not local. It is a number I had from Alaska. I no longer live in Alaska but with Nationwide calling plans, it really doesn’t matter anymore. At least in terms of cost. But seriously, if one more charity calls looking for a donation, I think I might go nuclear on their asses. Leave people alone. I swear if there is a charity I am interested in donating money to, I WILL find you. And yes, I do donate. But never to people who call me. NEVER.

So the weirdness of the weather sitch has me concerned. I hate it. I want it warm like yesterday. Winter was LONG. I need the sun and warmth of summer to be here like yesterday so I can get some rays and up my Vit. D and generally feel happier. Looking outside and seeing the sun then stepping out there anticipating warm and getting cold makes me sad. Really frickin’ sad. Like way sadder than when I expect it to be cold and it is. Maybe it’s global warming. Maybe it’s the cyclical nature of weather. I just don’t care. Give me warm. Now, please.

Here’s a fashion tip. Skinny jeans don’t look good on anybody. Men, women, large or skinny. They just don’t. If you are wearing skinny jeans thinking you are rocking the clothes, chances are people like me are laughing at you. Seriously. The only people skinny jeans look good are are those people who are so anorexic that skinny jeans are the only jeans that fit them and STILL they would look better in straight legs. But that’s just me. Skinny jeans are not forgiving AT ALL. And trust me, most of us need a little forgiving when it comes to our clothes. Um, because our bodies just need it that way.

If you are at a kids sporting event and you get into an argument with another parent or a coach or a ref, you are STUPID. Kinda like Jeff Foxworthy “here’s your sign…” Here is YOUR sign that you might be an idiot parent. A big one. Hey, I get it. You like your kid. You want your kid to win. But let’s face it, not all kids and not all kids’ teams are winners. Fighting with the other adults at the game make you look like an idiot. And it embarrasses your kid. Your kid won’t tell you. So I will. Stop being stupid. Stop living vicariously through your kid. Unless your kid is in the Olympics and the game matters in some way, let it go. Walk away. Be an adult. Seriously.

That is all.

Internet Shopping Feeds my Shoe Addiction

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I need a twelve step program for the depth of my love for shoes. I love them. I can’t get enough of them. It has gotten to the point that I have been told that before I buy another pair of shoes, I must throw out two. Being told that felt like a knife to my gut. Seriously? Throw away my shoes? Oh my god, are you frickin’ kidding me? Never gonna happen. NEVER. So I haven’t bought any shoes since that rule went into effect. Well, other than to replace shoes that get worn out or if a buckle breaks on one or if I get some as gifts.

I discovered internet shopping back in the day when I was feeding my shoe addiction. Shoes are like crack, you can’t just have one. So, I moved from going to actual stores to try them on, to perusing the internet to do my initial look-see. It works out great. Although now, with age and experience and an intimate knowledge of shoe designers sizing, I can pretty much tell if a pair of shoes is going to fit or not. Plus, places like Zappos allows you to return your shoes and get the right size. What a great concept and invention.

But the internet has done more than feed my shoe addiction, it has allowed me to branch out into other areas of consumerism and have things like wine, clothes, bedding, etc., delivered to my home. Usually at prices that are WAY better than I would find in an actual brick and mortar store. The same is not true for books however. Digital books to be exact. I can order real books for FAR less than retail price but the digital market hasn’t caught up yet. Which is a shame. I would buy WAY more digital books if the pricing were similar to what I could get from a used bookstore. It’s too bad really. Amazon, are you hearing me? Barnes and Noble, pay attention!!!

I am able to get wine from Wine Woot,, clothes from places like Hautelook, Gilt and Ruelala at a deep discount, sporting goods from Steep and Cheap, but I can’t get discounted ebooks. Seriously? The problem with that is I can buy real books for far less. Which do you think I am likely to do? It’s a bad business practice to keep the price of digital books so high after the initial offering. Something has to give if used books can be had for so much less. I know. I internet shop a lot.

Books and Shoes and really everything should be able to be had on internet for much lower prices than you can find at brick and mortar stores. Everyone who buys things knows this. It has to do with lower overhead. Much lower. So get with the program because I would LOVE to say that books are my addiction and that books are like crack. Until then, I still have my shoes.

No News is No News

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I haven’t watched the news in years. I stopped watching when we, as a nation,  first went to the desert to find a man about some bombs. At that time, we detoured into another country that also had sand to find a man that was a bully. See when you know people that were in that huge sand box, watching the news wasn’t so much about the general state of the world and our actions in the world. There had been incidences where people had been watching TV and saw something. That something had been reported in real time and those people watching hadn’t been given notice that the occurrence had occurred. I didn’t want that to happen to me. So I stopped watching the news.

It’s been many years since I last watched the news regularly. I’m not a news nazi. I don’t turn off the TV if it inadvertently gets put on the evening news. I just don’t try to find a channel covering news. I don’t think I’ve missed much by not tuning into current events. If I want to know something, I know how to acquire that information. If something really big happens, I know that I will find out. Because big events have a way of making themselves known through various other outlets that don’t have me watching the news directly.

News stories are typically as follows: someone died, someone got swindled out of a bunch of money, politicians are fighting each other and one or more celebrities are acting poorly. On any given day, those stories are what gets reported with differing names depending on who the story is actually about. The individual names change, the news stories do not. And I just don’t care. Unless it directly impacts me and my life, those same news stories being reported again and again with minor variations in theme just don’t interest me. If it does directly impact me, trust me, someone will tell me in some way that doesn’t include me watching the news.

This past week is a prime example. I didn’t find out about Boston or Texas by watching the news. I was told from various other social and media outlets. So my ability to know what is happening in the world around me isn’t detrimentally effected by shutting off the evening and late night news. But my quality of life is so much better for not listening to the drivel that passes for news today. Important information gets filtered to me while I cut out the bullshit that is routinely reported. Win-Win. For me at least.

I might start watching the news if they gave me stories about humanitarian efforts in little known areas or achievements by people who no one had thought would be achievers or something different from the typical stories I listed above. But that doesn’t happen. Won’t happen. We have a serious homogenization of the news going on. And where a few years ago or a few decades ago, you could get different news from differing news outlets, that just doesn’t happen anymore. It could be because most news is owned by big conglomerates that own several news outlets and pump out the same news stories. Don’t get me wrong, some news organizations do slant the news depending on their political and philosophical outlooks but they are still reporting the same stories. It’s just done with a conservative slant or a liberal slant or a religious slant. Same shit, same shit.

I stopped watching the news many years ago and it hasn’t effected by ability to gather information about the things I want to know about. I don’t notice the loss of not watching the news. Not one bit. If anything, it has made my life better. The information I receive is more streamlined and tailored to what interests me. I feel that all in all, I am better off not watching the news. How sad is that?

Random Thoughts Part 2

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I think Fridays will be Random Thought day cause for some reason I am too tired to think of a coherent topic and I have run out of stuff to say.

If you’re a cop and you come to question me about what happened to my neighbor AND you figure out that I don’t know shit, clue me in. See I thought when the paramedics and fire trucks showed up at his house that he had a heart attack or fell down the stairs or started a kitchen fire or something involving the frickin’ fire department. So when the cops come around the next day and ask me if I saw anything or heard anything or if anyone hated my neighbor, it freaks me right the fuck out. Umm, cause that would mean that someone broke into his house and hurt him. AND I live right next door. See how a person could be FREAKED the fuck out about that?!?!? Seriously, clue me in. I need to know. Not because I am a curious bitch but because I live right NEXT DOOR.

If you make MP3 players, iPods, etc. make it so I can put the music list on multiple computers. Cause if my playlist and updates are on a computer that craps out, I am screwed. And not in the good way. But in a very bad way. Very. Bad. This means I am forever locked into the playlist that is on my MP3 player. Well at least until I wear out the battery. You know the one that I can’t change out because I just can’t. The manufacturer made it impossible for me to do so. Some technologies ROCK because they give us something we didn’t even know we needed until we got it and now we can’t live without it. At the same time they SUCK cause those same manufacturers are looking to lock us into their product, their company. Here’s a tip for doing that that has nothing to do with screwing over your customers- make a KICK ASS product and just keep making it KICK ASS. That is what keeps your customer base loyal. Not this bullshit trying to keep us attached to the teat by making it impossible to change a frickin’ battery or share music or whatever.

I have bats that fly at night around my yard. Oh my god. Scared me spitless. I was sitting out there drinking a bottle of wine, yes I said bottle- go big or go home, and what should I start seeing but nocturnal flying things. Now I watch the discovery channel. I KNOW birds can’t fly at night, don’t fly at night. The only thing that would be flying at night are bats. Lots of bats. Like you see in bat cave numbers LOTS. In other words, holy shit batman. I also know I shouldn’t be afraid of them. They aren’t the blood sucking kind. They are the eating lots of bugs and keeping my backyard semi-bug free kind. Intellectually I know all of this. Still, they are freakin’ BATS. So I very quietly grabbed my wine bottle and skedaddled inside leaving the bats to do their thing.

If I state in a thread that I don’t like reading a certain trope and you come into that thread to tell me that trope has in fact happened to you in real life, don’t be offended if I don’t care. I don’t care that it really happened to you or 5 of your friends or even everyone you know. I just don’t care AND I don’t want to read about it. I will also make fun of you. Because you are arguing about what I want to read by using your real life as an example of why I am wrong. Umm, yeah no. Please take a logic class. One doesn’t necessarily follow the other. I wouldn’t care to read about that trope in a memoir, autobiography or any non-fiction that talks about that trope, I certainly don’t want to read fiction about it. The most you will get is an acknowledgment by me that yes that might happen in real life. Good for you. I still don’t want to read about it. I don’t care about you and your real life. I care about my dollars and what I spend them on when I buy something to read. Coming into a thread that talks about what people are tired of reading about and arguing that a trope is or can be somewhat realistic because you are a living example of that trope is… ummm… CRA-CRA. My preference in reading is not about you. Never has been. Never will be.

That is all.

Waxing vs. Lasering

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One of my characters has a Brazilian. Not too much of a problem right? But she is lasered bare instead of waxed bare. Which presents a slight issue. I need to be able to write about it correctly. Which means that I have to do some research. I wouldn’t have to do any research if the character was waxed bare. But because of the method she chose to have her brazilian, I do. Now normally I don’t mind research. It is one of the things I have always loved. My brain likes lots of useless facts. I like lots of useless facts. Would you believe me if I told you that trivial pursuit is one of my favorite games? It is. I suck at it but still.

Anyway back to the laser. So I am not looking forward to researching the whole lasering brazilian thing. Cause I know that waxing that area hurts. A Lot. Like bring tears to your eyes pain. But I do it anyway. Wanna know why? Cause they don’t tell you that once you wax, you can’t stop. Cause having STUBBLE in that area is uncomfortable. And not mildly uncomfortable but like shockingly uncomfortable. So much so that you will sell your first born to make it go away. Instead, I just keep getting waxed. Waxing is like eating potato chips, you can’t just have one.

So I already get my armpits lasered. I am tired of being all sweaty in the summer. Having to constantly shave my pits is not a pleasant thing. It is tedious. And must be done everyday in the summer because it is so freaking hot. So I bought a package this past winter. It is awesome really. I’m not sure why I waited so long. But lasering is not without its own pain. It feels like a thousand rubber bands are snapping at your skin. Now imagine that in your private areas. Waxing hurts as well, don’t get me wrong. But I know that pain already. I know I can handle it. I haven’t experienced the lasering of that area pain yet. But I will. Because I am a dedicated writer. I will research this particular practice so that I might write about it effectively.

See, I am a dedicated writer. If I can find out information that allows me to bring some realism to the table I will. Getting a brazilian laser is just the tip of the ice berg. I have an elevated sense of responsibility to my readers. I will endure pain for them. I’m a dedicated writer bitch. lol Cause that’s just how I roll.