Enough with the Hating

I was informed that m/f sex in m/m books was offensive, disrespectful, yada, yada, yada. And all I have to say is Fuck You JesseWave.

Read what you want. Write what you want. Review what you want. But don’t couch your misogyny in terms of choice and needing warnings that a vagina is about to be used for sex. Warnings on books should be and traditionally has been about rape, incest, excess violence and the like. Not about vaginas being fucked. Ain’t nothing disrespectful about vaginas being used for their intended purpose. Not at all.

And trying to play off your vagina hating rant as anything but HATING is a lie. Don’t want to play in my sandbox? Fine. Don’t want me to play in your sandbox? Fine. But don’t call me, the toys I bring to the sandbox or anything about me names. Derogatory names and tell me I’m being disrespectful. Apologizing for calling my vagina and vaginas around the world as being cootie filled is full of hate. Cause you shouldn’t have said it in the first place. Now I know how you really feel about vaginas.

And I don’t normally write m/m stuff. I do write menage stuff. I read a whole lot of shit though.

This whole issue pisses me off.

Not long ago, just WRITING about m/m romances and sex could get you tarred and feathered. So the m/f community excluded it from ALL writing and pairings regardless of the reality of the situation. Then someone got a clue, smacked the shit out of the m/f community with a two-by-four of common sense, and viola, we get some m/m action. Then m/m took the fuck off. Which I applaud. Seriously. Love having some diversity in my ability to read some different stuff. But now, to be told that women writers of m/m are clueless and/or having women having sex in m/m stories is denigrating in some fashion pisses me the fuck off.

Don’t we have enough hang ups about fucking in this society without the m/m community- which, by the way, should be MORE tolerant, having hang ups about some people having sex. I don’t have girl cooties. None of my gay friends have fag cooties. None of my multi-gendered friends have freak cooties. I don’t care who’s catching or pitching. Nor do I care what instrument they are using. What I care about is the derogatory terms with which they are being described.

Fuck you. It is hard enough in this puritanical society to be free to express ourselves sexually. To be labeled as having girl cooties makes me feel about the same as being referenced as a breeder. I won’t stand for it in RL. I won’t stand for it in my writerly life. Just like I wouldn’t stand for nasty shit being said about others who have sex not in conformance with the “norm.”

It is beyond time to have m/m sex portrayed in mainstream fiction of all genres. Just as it is beyond time to have m/f sex portrayed in m/m fiction of all genres. M/m should be leading the way, not crying that there are vaginas in the m/m world. No m/m couple lives in a vacuum. Surprisingly, there are lots of vaginas in the world- yes, even in the m/m world. And sometimes, they even get used.

I don’t write off-scene sex often. So if the peeps in my books are fucking, you’re seeing it. I’m sure there are authors that write off-scene sex. I’m sure there are authors that write explicit sex scenes. I bet the heat level has nothing to do with sexual orientation or preference. It’s just the way they write about sex in their books.

So here’s your fucking warning: People in my books like to fuck. Some have dicks. Some have pussies.

That is all.

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3 Responses to Enough with the Hating

  1. Well said. I don’t read erotica of any kind myself BUT I want other people to have the freedom to read and write it. I don’t want to see anyone put limits on what another writer chooses to write about or the way they choose to write it or with which gender. There is no difference in trying to put restrictions on that than there is book burning.

    (Saw your post at AW.)

    • D.R. Slaten says:

      I totally agree. I won’t anyone what to read, they don’t tell me what to write AND we don’t call each other names.

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